Happy Friday to you!!
Happy Friday!!!
School is still a month off. Why the hell are you jumping the gun?
Official Friday Silliness Thread
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Top ten!!!!
An amazing elephant story...
I don’t usually like these heartwarming stories, but this one is truly interesting...
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot and found a large
piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe’ s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly .
Probably wasn’t the same elephant.
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The following rules shall apply during regular school hours: 1. Shoes must be worn at all times. 2. Clothing, jewelry and tattoos shall be free of writing, pictures, or any other insignia which are crude, vulgar, profane or sexually suggestive or which advocates racial or ethnic prejudice or the use of drugs or alcohol. 3. Messages which represent any group, or philosophy which advocates violence or disrupts the objectives of school instruction programs are prohibited. 4. Clothing and accessories that depict gang behavior or glorify gang activity are prohibited. 5. Clothing must not be inappropriately revealing. Some examples of inappropriate clothing include halter-tops, off the shoulder or low-cut tops, bare midriffs, short shorts or extremely short skirts. Clothing shall be sufficient to conceal undergarments at all times. 6. Pants must be able to stay up at the waist without the use of a belt or suspenders. 7. Electronic devices, which include: pagers, cassette players, cellular phones, compact disc players and walkie-talkies are prohibited on school grounds. Confiscated items will be returned at parent/guardian expense. 8. Hats are not to be worn inside buildings and classrooms. 9. Wallet chains and accessories with points or spikes are prohibited. |
Glad this week is wrapping up!
Three surgeons were bragging in a posh bar.
First Surgeon:
“A concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.”
The second surgeon said. “That’s nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics.
“The third surgeon said, “You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a
woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman’s blonde hair and the horse’s ass. I was able to put them together and now she’s running for President.
Obligatory graphic.
The worst part of back to school......the shopping.
This year our daughter is going to a Christian school (1st grade).
Bought uniforms last night......almost $200.00 worth.
Still got the regular school supplies to buy.
WARNING: LISTENING TO OR WATCHING THIS VIDEO MAY CAUSE EXCESSIVE GIGGLING AND MAY LEAD TO THE SONG BEING STUCK IN YOUR HEAD CONSTANTLY, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
I give you...The MenahMenah Song! (from the Muppets)
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"Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is NOT called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds and Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you."