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To: toldyou

"Why do you say that? Just curious."

First of all, it would never happen so it is easy to say but just think about the mountains she will have to climb. Let's just take a look at her first six months. As an unborn child she is already being taken out of the country to avoid a paternity suit. She begins her life as her half brother dies within days of her birth. Her mother dies and numerous men are claiming the possibility they are her father which of course means, her mother was a slut. Because she is the only heir of ANS, she will be involved in numerous lawsuits before she is even two years old. She has to deal with the reputation of her mother, which if pictures and videos can speak to this, it will be challenging. Then we have to realize that this baby could have, at the very least, an addictive trait because of her pre-natal exposure to drugs. Sorry about the length of this but I have unfortunately had experience with this kind of thing. My sister died in an automobile accident and left a three year old child. The bio-father was not fit to raise a dog, let alone a toddler. We sought custody and was in court for over four years fighting this animal. We did win, but our daughter has had issues because of him all of her life. She is now 23, and he has just been indicted for murder. Believe me, she would have been better off not having to face these demons.


6,204 posted on 03/20/2007 12:59:00 PM PDT by Toespi
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To: Toespi

Toepsi,

Sorry to read about your family's trials. But, I am assuming your sister came from a normal, decent family. And yet,as an adult, she clearly made the wrong choices.

I do not believe either Virgie(28 yrs. a cop) or Larry(no known criminal history) should be judged to be unfit as custodians of this biological child/grandchild.

Anna rebelled in her late teens and even with good looks and intelligence, she made terrible choices. Virgie raised Daniel in his formative years and he was a wonderful young man, by all accounts.

We read about children raised in "perfect" families who are murderous scum. We also read about regular folks who overcome adversity and poverty to become fine individuals.

Life is not fair, each of us makes our own destiny from purpose, character and life's lessons.

Virgie and Larry have earned the right to raise Dannielyn in their families by taking her away from that monster. I am not sure I could have endured what Larry and Virgie have suffered with such grace.


6,213 posted on 03/20/2007 1:12:31 PM PDT by sodpoodle ( Better to plant kisses and flowers than bodies.)
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To: Toespi

I don't think the answer is, or should have been, to adopt Dannielynn. You're assuming that she would have "lived happily ever after" with adoptive parents, not knowing what her background was.

Every child has a right to know who his/her biological parents are. Do you think adoptive parents should pretend to be the biological parents? In other words, it's better to LIE when she starts asking questions? I don't a child should be lied to.

I have a friend who gave birth many years ago....out of wedlock. She immediately gave the child up for adoption. The father was a thief, and I don't know what else he did, but he served time in prison. The child would be around 41 now. I've asked my friend why she has never had contact with her child. She said she never wanted the child to know what the child's father was all about. But yet my friend is beautiful, very successful, and married well. She never had another child. I always wonder if her child spent a life seeking answers.

I personally know adoptive children who have lived their entire lives wondering who and where their parents are....what their medical background is, etc. When I was in nursing school many years ago, I will never forget a 19 year old student who was desperate to find her parents. She had little money, but hired a private detective to help her. She devoted so much time to it, that she had to drop out of school. It consumed her.

I'm so sorry about your sister. My daughter's husband died suddenly, too, and left her a widow and my 6 year old grandchild fatherless.

I believe that it's not what happens to you, it's what you do about it. Anthony Robbins teaches, "It doesn't matter what advantages or disadvantages you were born with. It's not the conditions or the "externals" of your life that will determine your destiny. What matters is what decisions you make about how your life is going to be...the decisions that will write the story of your destiny. We must rise above whatever life hands us."






6,255 posted on 03/20/2007 1:57:05 PM PDT by toldyou
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