Posted on 02/15/2007 6:34:03 AM PST by woodbutcher1963
Actually Cindy, It's been my experience that women don't want the floor mopped differently, they want the floor mopped THEIR way.
After 20 years of helping around the house and having her come back and complain that I'm stupid because I didn't do it the way she wanted and having her do it all over again, after 30 years of marriage, I don't even try anymore.
Why bother if she's just going to do it all over again anyways???
Well, you know what they say: if you want something done right, do it yourself.
It also seems to be that part of the problem is that when the woman decides something needs done, she seems to think that it needs to be done right now. The man usually seems to think that he should do it when he's so inclined.
"My wife says I always ignore her, at least I think that's what she says."
Huh? What? Did you say something?
I can understand the resistance to your efforts not being good enough. What I don't understand is having an "approved" way of mopping the floor. I'm so non-focused on housework I didn't know there WERE different ways.
So, I see you've met my better half...
Well..... this explains alot....... Now husbands across the country will have a new excuse on why we wives are being ignored...... :)
Yes, there are.
Looping back to the article, the completely-missed obvious truth is that the studied behavior is a symptom, not the problem, and is engaged in precisely because the alternatives are immoral, illegal, and/or very expensive.
Maybe if _he_ was _asked_ about his behavior (instead of merely "studied"), and the response listened to, suitable changes could occur.
Did you say something?
Absolutely ... and for Pete's sake, don't insist that someone else do it when you KNOW you'll chew 'em out for doing it a different (and equally legitimate) way, and end up doing it yourself. And don't be surprised when they eventually flee every time you approach the washing machine.
It's because we men have a hard time following all the various scenes in the opera:
"...and then Cindy said to me 'Yeah, love your new office, it was just like mine when I first started out'. That little b---."
"Wait a minute, I thought you said Cindy was your friend."
"She is...well, she was, but...she still is. You have to keep up, you know. I'm always telling you about the people in my office, but you keep forgetting what I tell you about them."
Yes, my husband seems not to hear me when I ask if he has been borrowing things from my tackle box, like my oldie-but-goodie Rapalas. (I hid my ice-fishing jigs.)
It's not just mopping the floor. If I help put away groceries, I put them in the wrong place and she has to put them in the "right" place.
If I help put away clothes, I put them in the "wrong" place and she has to put them in the right place.
Why bother?
Don't get me wrong, she does an awful lot. The house is a pit but we always have 3 squares a day of good warm food and the like. We have a good home life, thanks mainly to her efforts.
But set myself up for failure? no thanks ;)
Are you just stereotyping, or is it actually like that, at your house? :(
A little of each. My wife is quite intelligent and we usually have great conversations. My only beef is when she goes on after I've already agreed with her. By the time she's done I don't feel like doing whatever I've already agreed to.
ARGH! Dang that torques me.
How the **** do you think a husband SHOULD respond to such a snide comment? With a flippant attitude like that, do you EXPECT anything other than being ignored?
The best way to not have her ask you to do the house work is simply screw up the job. i.e. bleach in the laundry. She'll never ask you to do it again after that.
Yes, my husband seems not to hear me when I ask if he has been borrowing things from my tackle box, like my oldie-but-goodie Rapalas. (I hid my ice-fishing jigs.)
It's pretty low to steal from someone's tackle box. Not to mention that it's more fun to keep your own well stocked.
The worst thing some women are guilty of (IMHO) is what I call the "Michener" approach. In Michener's novels, he always starts at the very beginning - like, when the earth was created - then works up to his story in modern times. It's insane and unnecessary.
I have female friends who think that in order to tell me a story about a conversation that took place today, I have to know where all the characters involved were born, who they married, how they know the teller of the story, and their entire physical description. That drives me crazy, and it must drive men crazy, too.
Oh brother, you ain't kidding either...
Why in the world does every excruciating detail and emotion of my wife's trip to the office supply closet need to be inflicted on me before I can get even my coat off when I get home from work?
I agree with you, frankly. If there is a "right" place for the clothes, the groceries, etc., why do you describe the house as "a pit"? She may have a system, but it sounds like it's not working.
Yardwork, car work, housework.... it is all work. I hate mopping. I like mowing. We just switch at times. If I need something I ask. If my husband isn't interested I do it myself or hire someone. I try to do everything he asks though because he doesn't ask me to do much, unless it is really important. It took a lot of fights and power struggles for us to get here though. Hopefully things will get better for you too.
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