Study:Men Hard-Wired to Ignore Wives

Fox News ^ | February 14, 2007 | Robert Roy Britt

[woodbutcher1963]

When a man fails to help out around the house, his poor performance might be related to a subconscious tendency to resist doing anything his wife wants, a new study suggests.

Men and women are sure to argue about this one. In fact, the man and woman who led the study disagree on the meaning of the results.

Psychologists have long known about "reactance," the tendency to do the exact opposite of what's requested by a loved one or boss.

• Click here to visit FOXNews.com's Human Body Center.

The new study aimed to find out whether the phenomenon might occur at a subconscious level.

Participants were asked to name a significant person they perceived as controlling their lives, and another who just wanted them to have fun.

Then they were asked to discern words from jumbled letters on a computer screen while the names of the people they had mentioned were flashed subliminally. The names were flashed too quickly to be registered consciously.

(Story continues below)

[ctdonath2]

Bingo. Others here don't seem to understand that.

On a related note:
Having studied defense, I've learned to avoid fighting (verbal or other) as the consequences can be, um, nasty - and I love her too much to do that to her.

Aside from mutual intent to understand & serve, only ignoring is left - and that brings us back to the misguided start of this thread.

[daybreakcoming]

That's when I get this glazed look in my eyes and my mind goes elsewhere....

Yep and two days later he asks why didn't you tell me?

[OregonRancher]

Sorry to hear that. You have three choices:
One, to learn to put up with it which I wouldn't do
two, to get counceling
three, if two doesn't work, to leave

Brutal truth friend.

[daybreakcoming]

I just hate it when my wife stops in mid speech and asks me; "ok...what did I just say?". That one always gets me in trouble.

LOL I do that for amusement purposes. :o)

[OregonRancher]

Naw, I'm the last one to ever find out what's going go..

Now, my only real gripe after all these years is how my wife can tell me something that doesn't make one bit a sense because she's left out all the relative information that would tell me what, where, when, and with whom.

[lepton]

Whatever happened to married people being as polite to each other as they are to their friends and acquaintances? It's quite possible; I've seen it done.

Amen. I do see why it happens though...for some reason there seems to be a social aspect where people vie for sympathy in a sort of one-upmanship of what they put up with, which ends up merely degrading the partner and the complainer. Hen parties are dangerous.

[lepton]

And that's why I think manners are an important part of any relationship, especially a marriage. Too many people think they apply to any relationship EXCEPT a marriage, which should somehow be exempt because of the level of familiarity.

Gotta nod on this one. I have a female friendish that is a complete jerk every year around her birthday. She thinks she shouldn't have to be nice to friends, because they should forgive her - even moreso on her birthday. Obviously, this isn't her only issue.

[Explorer89]

Most.

Depressing.

Thread.

Ever.

[ziggy_dlo]

Yeah you put it bluntly. This is reality.
Thanks

[Doctor Raoul]

Who cares, that's just her opinion...

[OregonRancher]

Friend, We only have one go around, it's not a rehearsal. There is absolutely no reason in the world to live in a situation that is detrimental to your own health, physically and mentally.

We have some friends who are in a much worse situation then yours and refuse to get out due to their fears of being alone. They take the hits rather than leave.

And sometimes tough love is hard to take. Good luck

[Mr. Jeeves]

but when she jumps from saying she loves me to the next instant where she is cursing me up and down and when the neighbors can hear it?

When she does this, ask her this question, in your loudest, firmest, most masculine voice:

"Stop! Do you think I would ever do anything to intentionally harm you? Because you are a fool to be with me if that's what you think."

If the answer is no (which it had better be) then she's going to start feeling a little silly. Give her some dark chocolate and tell her to go st down and write out everything she is feeling. If she does that and she is fundamentally a good person, then by the time she is finished writing she is going to realize just how over the top she has been and apologize to you. If she refuses to write down her feelings and keeps at you, tell her you will not accept anything but love from her, pack her bags and call her a taxi - she is too stuck in her head and her conditioning for you to waste any more of your precious life energy straightening her out. It isn't anyone's duty in life to heal broken people - they have to do that themselves.

[HitmanLV]

Thanks Mr. J! I did miss this debate. You are 100% right, of course. I don't get why so many males buy into this defeatist mindset, since overwhelming evidence supports the idea that it doesn't bring them to a place worth getting to!

We've seen this song & dance before! :-)

[linda_22003]

She must have been QUITE a bridezilla. :)

[ziggy_dlo]

not a bad idea Jeeves.

Thanks.

In fact I just bought her some DC so we shall see.

[JamesP81]

I can't believe they needed a study for this.

The bottom line is if a woman starts nagging, her husband will ignore her. Period. The End.

Nagging is the one thing I'll not abide. I'll put up with many things, but not that. Could be the reason why I'm single.

[lepton]

She must have been QUITE a bridezilla. :)

Oh yeah.