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Look, if you do get this it will scare the crap out of you, but then you adjust, the only ones that die are those that commit suicide. You can leave a near normal life, only it takes work. I don't want to scare anybody, my post however is to alert people, it's much easier to catch this early before your covered in soars and get it under control, and you can, with anti-fungals and anti-bacterials, many are doing long term anti-parasiticals too, but not me, but I don't hear any of them saying "I'm cured" so I do everything healthy.

In many ways I'm healthier than ever, but as a grown man, I have often cried like a baby when my wife and kids go to bed, they have no idea of the burden, to be honest, given what I know to be true, I live in a world most don't know exists, I wish I didn't know about this, but I do, and I cannot just forget it now, it's a war with me. When I see folks at work smiling and laughing I think to myself, man, I remember when my worst fears were trivial like that, it's like a certain innocence has been taken from me.

I sleep on the couch, haven't touched my kids in, not a hug, not a pat on the back in longer than I'd care to admit, I do it all to protect them. But they want to hug me, and honestly, those are the best things in life, they have been taken from me. I will never be able to touch them again, never.

So I long for Heaven, my heavenly Father could remove this, indeed as He could all other plagues, but He does not, and so I trod on, not giving up, but hoping that some good doctor will help.

I don't see doctors, none of us do, they are no help at all. Been there done that.

I sleep on the couch, haven't touched my kids in, not a hug, not a pat on the back in longer than I'd care to admit, I do it all to protect them. But they want to hug me, and honestly, those are the best things in life, they have been taken from me. I will never be able to touch them again, never.

That's a very sad existence for you and your family. You have my sympathies that you must live in such fear of infecting them. That is the saddest thing I have ever read on FR.