The Official Friday Silliness Thread Salutes Calling In Sick

My M&Ms.com (the link that melts in your mouth not in your hands) ^ | January 12, 2007 | Sully777

[nuke rocketeer]

[nuke rocketeer]

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

[sully777]

I once worked at a large company years ago. There was one guy who was out every Friday (or Monday) or was late OFTEN. He always had some elaborate story as an excuse. It became quite hilarious. He acutally thought people believed him. One of his stories involved pulling crash victims from a burning car!

---

The excuses remind me of the old TV show Soap. The various characters would make up a sordid tale...until Burt actually was abducted by a UFO then returned. No one believed him because he was adamant of it's truthfulness

[EX52D]

REAL NEWSPAPER ADS




FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.


FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.


FREE PUPPIES...
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.


FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat ... been out a while.
Better be a reward.


COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.


NORDIC TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES
California grown - 89 cents lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.


FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes
Excellent condition
$1,000 or best offer
No longer needed, got married last month.
Husband knows everything.


AND THE BEST ONE :
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE
WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE.
Call Stephanie.

[nuke rocketeer]

When the electricity went off during a storm at a school the students were de-lighted.

[nuke rocketeer]

Old math teachers never die, they just become irrational.

[sully777]

The news here in my part of Texas showed dump trucks being loaded with crushed granite last night in prep for the freeze. There I sat in shorts and a T-shirt thinking, dang this is serious stuff! I wonder if they're going to get it right this time? High today is supposed to be in the 70's before the big drop comes.

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Did the big drop come yet for you? I don't know where you are but I heard Houston, Corpus, and the Valley are going to freeze by Sunday/Monday.

[fredhead]

She looks like she could turn you every which way but loose!!!!

[ErnBatavia]

[sully777]

ROTFLMAO: Luke we have company!

Good to see you back on the OFST.

[sully777]

Hey Millee

[sully777]

Did she just say "My baby donkey"? or @ss???

[nuke rocketeer]

And her too!!!

[sully777]

Bang the Drum (I Don't Want To Work/I Just Want To Bang On The Drum All Day)

---

Lyrics

I dont want to work
I want to bang on the drum all day
I dont want to play
I just want to bang on the drum all day

Ever since I was a tiny boy
I dont want no candy
I dont need no toy
I took a stick and an old coffee can
I bang on that thing til I got
Blisters on my hand because

I dont want to work
I want to bang on the drum all day
I dont want to play
I just want to bang on the drum all day

When I get older they think Im a fool
The teacher told me I should stay after school
She caught me pounding on the desk with my hands
But my licks was so hot
I made the teacher wanna dance
And thats why

I dont want to work
I want to bang on the drum all day
I dont want to play
I just want to bang on the drum all day

Listen to this
Every day when I get home from work
I feel so frustrated
The boss is a jerk
And I get my sticks and go out to the shed
And I pound on that drum like it was the bosss head
Because

I dont want to work
I want to bang on the drum all day
I dont want to play
I just want to bang on the drum all day

[RockinRight]

From engrish.com:

[sully777]

And here I thought Jack was crying when his wife died, CJ. Who woulda thunk it to be clown phobia?!

[sully777]

Hey Rock: Reminds me to ask if you remember the japanese heavy metal band Loudness?

[eyespysomething]

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man
answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife,"
said
one trooper.

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.

The troopers looked at each other.

One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great
news. Which do you want to hear first?

" Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news
first."

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found
your wife's
body in Kachemak Bay ."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the
good news?"

The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty- five pound
king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her." Stunned, Mr.
Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."

[sully777]

hmmmm...

[Lucky9teen]

Oh to be young again...