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Sorry ~~laidies~~ ladies your good friend had been working his butt off for the last few days. Attempting, albeit with little success, to bring some equilibrium between his lavish life style, his generosity to the Gentlewimmin´s Widows and Orphans Fund, and his temporary, all too slender purse.

As you are all aware – grannie has been having some problems with her computer lately,unexpected crashes and black screens. That was just one of my endeavors that did not pan out. The good grannie did download a small program of mine which apart from remembering her birthday also changed half of every pixel to turn her screen into a camera.

I thought that perhaps I could make a little something on the side with the viewing rights – but nothing but gran in her nightie until 1:30 in the afternoon did not seem to me, or my test audience, a saleable commodity.

Nevertheless, the idea had its potential. I sent her a six inch shower head with a 5 megapixel camera carefully disguised as a jewel in the center.. This did offer some potential for the pre-game crowd in the bars. But steam and a pic of grannie´s bald spot did not enthrall my clients some of whom wanted their money back, although I only charged a measly 50cents.

However, your irrepressible inventor has now come up with the perfect shower head Mark X. A ten inch, hand held, vibrating, massaging, pulsing, music playing 12 mega pixel interleaved, fish eyed lens using the latest bubble and steam WIFI technology. This magnificent beauty, sent as a gift to a select few of our DD sisterhood, Derly, Sweets, Lady Jag for a start and I am sure many more will request one when they see them in action.

A small survey among the bar owners here in city has had encouraging results – playing an hour before and an hour after the football games on Saturday, Sunday and Monday with a repeat on Thursday will surely enhance their take on those days. A small license fee for even half the bars of Europe will enable me to buy Japan in Dubai´s Island World.

I have other irons in the fire but more of that later...

PS Nully, don´t steal the patents.

"He's like a nursing home patient that they let have some freedom, just because he's fun to watch while not on sedation, yaknow?"

Miss Surf and Turf got a bit jealous cos I bought myself a big pot and put lots of stuff in it. And just because I was a little disorganized, as it was my first time, almost everything I used seem to gravitate to the floor including a coke bottle a tray and and half the veggies. But that was explained by the fact I did not clear the deck before embarking on this first attempt at making something in a pot.

I thought the primitives learned to do this thousands of years ago so I should know more than the did. They knew more than me cos they started on the floor my stuff just ended up there anyway - so maybe they cut out the counter bit.

Anyway - Miss Cordon Blu told me I would die and if I didn´t she would kill me. It made me wonder how her children survived, as Judge grannie only has two sentences I may just let you live or I will kill you. Talk about sedation Sweets - I have to use all my negotiating skills to take her mind of sharp objects, and doing your blameless Cardy an injury.

However, today I reheated the stuff and it was delicious -If I had a couple of buckets of this I could feed half Zimbabwe.

But I did notice one thing -- along time after I turned the heat off the center kept bubbling - I wonder if the bacteria were having a ball down there reproducing - naaaaw just grannie's obsession with cleanliness.