Ya'll come to the party ping!
Happy Friday! Will this be anything like the party on The Office last night?
HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHT AS PRESIDENT
Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President
She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this.
FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly! The ghost of George Washington appears to her, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Washington says, "Never tell a lie." "Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."
SECOND NIGHT - The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Jefferson says, "Listen to the people." Hillary replies: "Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."
THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Lincoln says, "Go to the theater."
Nursery Rhymes - for Big Kids
Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her, Between two hunks of bread.
JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb ass
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo,
Late to this party.
Appropriate thread - our office party is today.
A grade school teacher in Las Milpas asked her students to use the word
"fascinate" in a sentence.
Maria put up her hand and said, "My family went to my abuelito's farm, And we all saw his pet cabrito. It was fascinating.
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word
"fascinate, not fascinating".
Enriqueta shyly raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see los pyramids and I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Enriqueta, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."
Juanito raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Juanito before.
She finally gave in and decided there was no way he could damage the
word "fascinate", so she called on him.
Juanito said, "My Tia Ninfa has a sweater with ten buttons, but her chichis are so big she can only fasten eight."