Posted on 11/10/2006 3:31:04 AM PST by sully777
Hi nuke, how are you? :)
BUSY!BUSY!BUSY! Hardly time to do anything fun at work (like punishing everyone on FR) these days. The nuke business is booming!
Just popped in right before hitting the highway home.
what what club? what?
hey you might know....
do we have enough nukes (we being the US) to give each country in the world at least one nuk-u-lar explosion?
I making my Christmas list.
Want me to sing ya Happy Birthday?
MM
Several times over, I think we still have ~5000 warheads
Sure do, but I'll hit the road first. Se y'all later.....
A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, and nearly hit a bus. The shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me." The frightened passenger apologized and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, "No, I'm sorry, it's my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
Take care. :)
New Aussie Telephone Greeting:
Wouldn't it be great if something like this caught on here?
"GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO AUSTRALIA."
" Press "1" if you speak English."
"Press "2" to disconnect until you can "
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Not with play calls like last weekend.
I think that's fightclub.... oops
Dang it!!
I didn't know we had rules.
Why does no one tell me these things?
Busted!!!!!
If I could post pics I would post my mambership card. Yes Yes it's been explained and explained, and I even did it once, but it's just too much too much....to post a pic.
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