[beezdotcom]

While I can't say that I agree with every nuance of your post, I appreciate the thought that went into it.

I would simply say that how men and women "feel" about various activities doesn't necessarily have much bearing on whether that activity is sinful. Otherwise, we might say that "adultery is right for some, and wrong for others".

As for sexual issues being a symptom of marital strife rather than a cause - you said "generally", and I'll agree, only if you include that to mean that the root cause of the marital strife may often be one partner's sick soul, manifesting itself as a sexual issue. It's a semantical game, but relevant.

[pollyannaish]

I think we mostly agree. It is very hard to make sweeping generalizations on most subjects without running into exceptions. (BTW, I believe that we ALL have sick souls...thus sin.)

That said, I was trying very hard to take religion out of the argument, simply because applying that lens to unbelievers is unfair. Free will is a very tricky issue, and while a committed Christian sees things through a relatively black and white lens, it is our responsibility to respect different reasoning systems for those who do not have the same faith framework, even if we do not agree.

Therefore, sans religion, one must come up with a rationale for a moral life. Commitment to another person means that you value a person's feelings as your own. (Ironically, the golden rule)

But, you are completely correct that sin is sin, no matter how we feel about it. And I will say, for myself and my own family, we believe pornography is a trap that would create disharmony in our relationship. I refuse however, to make that choice for others because it is theirs to make, not mine.

The greatest gift God gave us is free will and I believe I have an obligation to respect the free will of others.