[Hemingway's Ghost]

Women as a whole respond emotionally to sex differently than men, there is no doubt. What we end up doing to "cheat on our spouse" if you will, is develop emotional relationships with others, or perhaps complain incessantly to our friends about our spouses, or to withhold sex as a weapon to negotiate more favorable treatment/secure favors. Not one of those things is healthy, and every single one of them creates pain for our spouse.

Men respond to sex physically. As a result, pornography or quick, easy sex and a wandering eye are huge temptations. Men may "cheat on their spouse" by objectifying sex as simply a physical act, and disregarding any pain they may cause their wives. In other words, "It didn't mean anything to me, so it shouldn't mean anything to you." If a woman is simply a servant/prostitute for a man, and is ignored emotionally, he is "cheating on her"...even if he never actually has sex with another person. Not one of those things is healthy, and every single one of them creates pain for a spouse.

I understand that you threw the air quotes around "cheating," above, but therein lies the disconnect, if you will. In this context, cheating on your spouse is committing adultery, which is having actual old-fashioned, red-blooded intercourse with someone other than your spouse. And yes, that includes getting a bravo juliet from someone else, or giving one to someone else. Committing adultery is what's verbotten when you take your marriage vows. In the classic sense, adultery is what constitutes cheating.

I think we should avoid using these terms interchangeably.

[pollyannaish]

Fair enough. I understand what you are saying.

In this case I was trying (obviously not clearly enough) to say that that you can cheat on someone without committing adultery. I think I'd get a little upset if my husband constantly went on dates with another woman, even if they were not sexually involved. And I'm pretty sure the reverse would be true. In fact, if it wasn't I think I'd be a little upset. LOL.

Adultery is sex with someone other than your spouse...but there can be a lot of cheating between here and there...depending of course on what the meaning of is, is.