At 0500 a detail sets out consisting of the Captain, the Lieutenant, and sevaral enlisted. They go to the edge of Indian territory and the Captain says, "OK, Lieutenant. Our mission is to take this flag and put it on top of that hill on the other side of the border. How would you accomplish that?"
The Lieutenant goes out and surveys the landscape, noting all available cover, points of defense, points of enemy ambush, the distance to the hill, and other details important to such a task. He then returns to the Captain and lays out his plan for accomplishing the mission.
"Well, that's pretty good, Lieutenant," says the Captain. "And it might even work. But now I'm going to show you the Army way. SEARGENT!!!!!!"
The Seargent comes up, snaps a salute and says, "Yes, sir!"
The Captain returns the salute and says, "Take a detail of men and put this flag up on that hill."
Shalom.
An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35-pound pack on his back, 15-lb. weapon in his hand, having marched 12 miles, and says, "This is sh*t."
An Army Airborne Ranger stands in the rain with a 45-pound pack on his back, weapon in hand, after having jumped from a plane and jogged 18 miles, says with a smile, "This is good sh*t."
A Navy Seal lies in the mud, 55-pound pack on his back, weapon in hand, after swimming 10 miles to shore, crawling through a swamp, and running 25 miles at night past enemy positions, says with a grin, "This is really great sh*t."
A Marine, up to his nose in the stinking, bug-infested mud of a swamp with a 65-pound pack on his back and weapons in both hands after jumping from an aircraft at high altitude into the ocean, swimming 12 miles to shore, killing several alligators to enter the swamp, then crawling 30 miles through the brush to assault an enemy camp, says, "I love this sh*t."
An Air Force NCO sits in an easy chair in an air-conditioned, carpeted office in front of his computer and says, "My e-mail is out? What kind of sh*t is this?"
During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."
A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"
The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."