Posted on 08/04/2006 1:08:59 AM PDT by sully777
Chelsea Clinton went off to college and came back home for the holidays. Hillary was quite happy to see her daughter and pressed her for information about college.
"So, are you enjoying college, dear?" she asked.
Chelsea nodded vigorously.
"And are there boys in college?" Hillary questioned.
Once again, Chelsea nodded with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.
Hillary, unable to resist and curious about her daughter's activities, went on to ask, "And are you having sex with these boys?"
Chelsea burst out laughing. After a moment, she straightened, stared into her mother's eyes, and said, "Not according to Dad."
Good Democrats...
Avoid the truth at all costs.
Success should be punished and failure rewarded.
It is okay to file false affidavits with a federal court if you don't want to be held accountable for your actions.
There is no place in society for honesty.
Only the government knows what is good for you and what you deserve out of life.
You are to stupid to make your own decisions.
Vote buying with give away programs is good politics.
If you tell an untruth often enough and loud enough it will become the truth.
People don't kill people, guns do.
Don't confuse me with facts, I am happy living in my make believe world.
Only we should vote.
What the majority wants is irrelevant.
The constitution is just a piece of paper.
The government is my shepherd I shall not want.
Judges were appointed to write laws.
If you can read this, you are probably a republican.
How to be a Good Democrat
Virtually anyone can be a Democrat... Just simply quit thinking and vote that way! But if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate:
You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.
You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.
You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
You have to believe the militaries, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain other parts of the Constitution.
You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinmen are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.
You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.
You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.
You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
Republicans and Democrats
Republicans say "Merry Christmas!"
Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"
Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army.
Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.
Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.
Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve.
Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning.
When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for a "Bud."
When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers" on late night television.
Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.
Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.
Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.
Democrats save their time and money, and drive around at night to look at *other* people's lights.
Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "Die Hard."
Republicans always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping.
Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts ... and reposition them to make sure they are seen.
Democrats wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season.
Republicans do too, all year round.
Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas cards.
Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.
Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Deck the Halls".
Young Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer".
Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is "White Christmas".
Young Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is "White Christmas".
Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree.
Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.
Green Democrats buy a real tree with roots, and then replant it after New Years.
Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians."
Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians win.
Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus.
Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus.
Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals.
On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
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