Official Friday Silliness Thread Salutes Double Meanings.

The BBC because Brits are silly by nature ^ | 7-28-06 | sully777

[nuke rocketeer]

IOP??

[nuke rocketeer]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

[sully777]

Did you get rain last night? We got wind, lightning, and thunder but no rain.

[nuke rocketeer]

I live near a small town and farming community, and the following event happened to a friend of mine, a farmer named Ken Kellog. Ken raises sheep, and he has this surly, unpredictable ram which boldly tries to escape the pasture at any opportunity. He also has quite a temper (the ram, not Ken).
A bunch of ravens had their nests near by -- about twenty ravens in all. Ten ravens make up a swoop, just like more than four sheep are a flock, etc. Anyways, these ravens loved to harass the ram. They'd fly down into the field and caw at him until he charged at them. Then they'd all fly upward, and the ram would crash into the fence. Once, though, one of the ravens didn't get out of the way in time, and he was crushed against the fencepost. The others decided to get revenge.
When Farmer Kellog came out to check on his sheep one day, he forgot to lock the gate properly. The ravens, working together, pushed it open, and lured the ram out into the hayfield. They flew towards the bailing maching, the ram bleating furiously all the way. At the last moment, the ravens pulled up -- and the ram ran straight into the bailer.
He came out the other side in a mangled package. Twenty big black birds came to perch upon him, satisfied, leaving the farmer with two swoops of ravens on a package of Kellog's brazen ram.

[nuke rocketeer]

Thunder, lightning, tornadoes, 4" rain in 45 minutes....Nasty afternoon/evening

[EX52D]

Rain? What's that? LOL!

[sully777]

[nuke rocketeer]

Doctor: "Did you take the patient's temperature?"
Nurse: "No. Is it missing?"

---

Doctor: "Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?"
Nurse: "No change yet."

---

Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.

The first nurse said, "I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The second nurse says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The third nurse says, "I was a case manager for an HMO."

St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse's file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, "Congratulations! You've been admitted to heaven ... for five days!"

[nuke rocketeer]

Harry was in the hospital. He was an old man. From time to time the young nurse came in and said in a patronising tone, "And how are we doing this morning?"

Well, this is a story of revenge. Harry had received breakfast, and pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his stand. He had been given a urine bottle to fill. The juice was apple juice. You know where the juice went.

The nurse came in, picked up the urine bottle and said, "It seems we are a little cloudy today..." At this, Harry snatched the bottle out of her hand, drinked its contents, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again, maybe I can filter it better this time."

---

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?
If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it'll probably stop whining.

[sully777]

Only in Oklahoma could you say the following:

[You] Thunder, lightning, tornadoes, 4" rain in 45 minutes....Nasty afternoon/evening.

[Me] Really??? Wish we had that. Things are getting dry again.

[najida]

wow,
he's really...
huh,
hmmm,

impressive ;)

[JJR RNCH]

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

[fredhead]

It's hot and humid here. You don't bake in the sun....you stew in your own juices.

[sully777]

Rain? What's that?

---

Rain is water that falls from the sky but that's not important right now. What's important is whether or not you can fly this plane!

[fredhead]

and don't call me Shirley

[acad1228]

You scored as Marines. Semper Fi. You are a true Marine. You are the nation's most devastating fighting force, barring Special Forces. But your place was not easy to get. You endured the harshest basic training of any Armed Force to get where you are, and your reward is the respect and admiration of everyone else (except maybe the Air Force, who may view you as just a dumb grunt. Perhaps it's true, but you just want to fight).

Marines		100%
Army		64%
Coast Guard		61%
Air Force		57%
Navy		50%

Which branch of the Military are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

My Dad would be so proud!

[Gumlegs]

[sully777]

Wow, he's really...huh, hmmm, impressive...

[najida]

LOL!
I forgot how funny that movie was!

[EX52D]

LOL...rain is so scarce here, it is important. :)