Dear Fruitarian, I would cook you slowly over an open fire... 20 minutes to the pound... salt & pepper to taste.
Dear Johnny,
You are slowly becoming more female from the ingestion
of hormones given to cows, sheep, pigs, chickens
to make them retain water and gain weight before slaughter.
Fear not. It will make you nicer.
http://www.pcrm.org
Perhaps in a previous life, you did that to St. Lawrence.