Guess the pun......
Posted on 07/14/2006 12:42:03 AM PDT by sully777
Guess the pun......
The first guy says, "Well, I was riding my exercycle on the balcony of my twelfth-floor apartment when suddenly the wheel seized and I was thrown over the railing. I thought I was a goner but I managed to twist myself and grab on to the railing of one of the apartments below mine. Before I could think about calling for help this absloutely enraged man came out and started pounding on my fingers with a shoe. Finally I had to let go and, again, thought I was a goner. Somehow the canopy over the entrance broke my fall and I survived. But that man was yelling at me out the window and he looked crazy so I thought I'd better run to a safer place. At that point something heavy fell on me and I died."
"Hmmm," thought St. Peter." Interesting story, that. Well, I see no reason why you can't go in. Whose next."
The first guy goes on through the gates. The next guy says, "Well, I was sure my wife was cheating on me so I made arrangements to come home from work one day on my lunch break to try to surprise her. She had locked the door and took so long to open it that I was sure the man was in the apartment. But when I went in to look for him I couldn't find him anywhere. Then I heard some noise out on the balcony and, sure enough, there he was hanging from the railing. I grabbed the first object I could find, which was one of my wife's shoes, and started pounding on his hands to get him to let go. He finally lets go but, what do you know, he survives the fall? Then he starts to run away. I looked around again for something to throw at him but all I could find was an old freezer that I had been meaning to get rid of. I pick it up and hurl it out the window when I'm seized with a heart-attack and I died."
"Well," says St. Peter, "You seem to have some anger management issues. But considering the possibility of your wife's adultery it seems understandable. You may go through." As the second one enteres his rest St. Peter turns his attention to the last man and asks, "And how did you die?"
"OK, picture this. Here I am standing naked inside an old freezer..."
Shalom.
In Star Wars, why did the Evil Empire leave Catholic nuns alone? Force of habit.
True story....
Last Wednesday my wife, 5 year old daughter and I went to the waterslide pool at one of the local Navy bases. They have one slide that dumps you deep into the 12-foot part of the pool.
When my wife went DOWN into the water, her bikini top went UP!!!
I had ridden that slide just before her, and was waiting by the ladder for her. I was getting worried and the lifeguard was getting ready to jump in after her when she surfaced.
She had been holding her breath under water, stuffing herself back into her top.
This at a pool full of kids.
stone henges?
A Heinous crime...
AND
Assault & battery? You cad! (Or is it Ni-Cad?)
We're still trying to get the swing of one. Li'l miss thang seems to think night time is the best time to be awake. I s'pose in afew months I'll get to experience that "sleep" thing again.
My youngest is 17 and I'm still trying to experience it.
Not to scare you or anything.
Of course you could be luckier than I and yours could be ugly and dumb, but from the photos you shared I don't think so.
Shalom.
She's a beauty! Congratulations to you and Mrs.BJClinton. May you sleep well some night soon!
Oh my, she is adorable. Congrats!
I can only imagine her embarrassment. I remember some years ago when I went to the Maryland coast with my young son and some friends. When we were at the beach, I was wearing terrific looking one piece black and white bathing suit that was llooowww-cut. Two of my friends (an older woman and a fellow), my son and I were playing in the ocean. I dove into the water and when I surfaced and wiped my face and hair back I felt that I was too loose at the top. I looked down and yep, my left breast was hanging loose swaying and jiggling. I quickly but not soon enough, ducked back into the water and dressed myself. And yes my companions (thank goodness not my son) observed but didn't say anything just smiled. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't look the fellow in the eye for the rest of the day.
Diapers over car keys any day!!!!
How tall IS that woman???
Do you ever consider that a pun could be so bad the entire universe would simply cease to exist?
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