Homer knew too much about ships and their workings to have been female. The only way to win this argument is not to argue.
NOt only that, but women in ancient Greece didn't go around to parties singing ballads. At about 16 years of age a girl would be married off to a man about twice her age, and from that time on, she would be a virtual prisoner in her home, much like Muslim women nowadays in the most conservative areas of Afghanistan. Shopping was done by servants or slaves. The only adult women who would be found out-and-about were prostitutes.