A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local
Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation
and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time
the lights would go out, the place would erupt into
cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the
room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the
restroom?
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you
that there is a statue of a naked man in there
wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way,"
said the nun.
So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant,
and she preceded to the restroom.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the
whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun
a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand.
Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the
restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender,
"Would you like a drink?"
"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the
fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go
out. Now, how about that drink?
Our local Catholic church has plans to bring their parishioners to services by bus. They plan to call it mass transit.
If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It was driving down the road and then suddenly turned into a field.
A man walks into a hardware store and asks if they have a tool for breaking up some hard ground. The shop assistant points to a row of suitable tools along the wall and replies: "Certainly sir, take your pick."
I took my garbage out to give it to the trash collectors, but I found I'd missed them -- they'd already bin and gone.
The pirate captain was standing in his treasure pile.
He didn't have very much: his booty was only shin-deep.