ROFLOL
NEWS FLASH
ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA, SYRIA FORM AXIS OF "JUST AS EVIL"
Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form "Axis of Somewhat Evil"; Other Nations
Start Own Clubs.
Beijing, bitter after being snubbed for membership in the"Axis of
Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed
the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than
that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his
State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new
axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right.They are
Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim
Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being
evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being
excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join
the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi
President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In
World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis.
So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is
wicked cool."
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift,
as within minutes, France surrendered.
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate
status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan,
and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil,
forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of
Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established
the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally
Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs
filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be
called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly
Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and
Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice
But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain,
Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That
Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said
Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps
making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most
axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of
Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its
members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay,
Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked
them.