Then he cocked his head in a distinctive manner, and Uncle Faard had pulled him into the shelter of the dragonshield he was carrying. Flames washed over them, slightly singing his curly hair.
You need to check your pronoun antecedents here -- it's not clear where all the "he," "him," and "his" are pointing.
Aside from that, it sounds zippy!
27 posted on 05/30/2006 3:51:34 PM PDT by Tax-chick
(Let all creation sing of salvation. Let us together give praise forever!)