Posted on 04/18/2006 5:28:48 PM PDT by Clintonfatigued
The Tomkitten has arrived.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, the high-profile pair dubbed TomKat by the media, had a baby girl Tuesday, said Cruise spokesman Arnold Robinson.
The baby, named Suri, weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces and measured 20 inches long, he said.
(Excerpt) Read more at metromix.chicagotribune.com ...
katie is as much a victim here as suri.
LOL... that was my first thought.
We had four kids and produced so much placena that it has taken me almost 22 years to eat it all, just a little bit at each meal.
KIDDING!!!
Dang, I nearly grossed myself out just typing that!
What is wrong with Sarah (Hebrew for princess)? "Sar" is Hebrew for prince.
Yes, I would have chosen Sarah over Suri. But I guess Suri is better than "Apple"!
Birth In Silence (From the Pat Gray Morning Show)
(apologies to Simon & Garfunkel, Sound of Silence)
Shut up Katie do not shout
Cuz the baby's coming out
We must not imprint its tiny brain
with noises that will drive it insane
And you must go...
Through labor without any drugs... Only hugs;
You must give birth in silence.
So dear Katie do not scream
You'll give the baby scary dreams
You're married to a Scientologist
So you don't need a gynecologist
L. Ron Hubbard said maintain silence in the presence of birth... what a jerk..
No man... would give birth, in silence.
I believe they are busy with Britney Spears right now.
I'd rather hunt with Dick Cheney than ride with Ted Kennedy
I'd rather hunt with Ted Nugent than either of them.
Why do I keep thinking of that line (in an Aussie accent):
"Maybe the dingo ate your baby"???
Hubbard.
"Is that the channel Howard is playing on these days? ;-)"
That would be Sirius 100 & 101 baby, all Howard all the time!!
I had a baby boy the same day. But I'm no weirdo and my wife and I don't have a dorky little nickname so I guess I won't get the same press
I guess it would be red wine with placenta?
More appropriate would be some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Look, I'm already on a few Ping lists that actually matter to me, but I can't comprehend why I'm on a ping list for Tom Cruise's successful reproduction.
You think maybe the My Comments page is getting just a bit unmanageable?
In other words, please remove me from your list.
http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=1374&srch=
KATIE HOLMES TO GIVE BIRTH ON THE MOON
(Andy Borowitz)
Tomkat, Brangelina Compete For Nuttiest Birth Plan Ever
Expectant parents Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes announced plans today to give birth on the moon in what appears to be an escalating competition with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for the nuttiest birth plan in history.
In a press conference at Cape Canaveral, where Mr. Cruise was conferring with NASA officials about the final details of the couple’s lunar journey, the actor denied that the plan to give birth on the moon was in any way motivated by the other couple’s decision to deliver their baby in Namibia.
“I have been training to get my body accustomed to zero gravity for months now,” Mr. Cruise told reporters. “That’s why I jumped up and down on Oprah’s couch.”
Mr. Cruise said he and Ms. Holmes chose the moon because “it is really, really quiet there,” adding, “There are no human beings on the moon, no paparazzi, and most importantly, no psychiatrists.”
News of the Cruise-Holmes plan to deliver their child on the moon sent the Pitt-Jolie camp scrambling to make their birth plan even more insane, as the couple announced that they had abandoned their decision to give birth in Namibia and that their baby would instead be delivered on the ocean floor by a watertight robot obstetrician.
Mr. Cruise refused to comment on the updated Pitt-Jolie birth plan, but said that he and Ms. Holmes were still “tweaking” theirs: “All I can say is it’s going to involve the Cirque du Soleil.”
Elsewhere, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld got a vote of confidence today from a retired member of the Texas Air National Guard.
bttt
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.