NY, agree on the .45 Auto as one of the best. Ever see Colt's .45/.22 conversion unit? Replaces the top half of the .45 and fires the .22LR. Cheap, and gives the recoil effect of the big cartridge. Bought one at the gunshop I worked at back in the day, the mid-'70's for $35 new, now they are over $300 for a real nice used one, and extra original mags go for $80+! Owch! Service was a nice touch!
"It is significant that the ACLU's position is that pornography is protected under the Constitution, while the Christmas tree is not. So, if this bunch were successful, the only way you could see a Christmas tree is if you visit a porn shop that had one." —Jackie Mason and Raoul Felder
"Top Signs You've Hired A Bad Department Store Santa":
Fluffy white beard is heavily soiled with chaw stains;
Lectures each child on the wonders of Scientology;
There's always two or three elves on defibrillator duty;
Tries to snort the fake snow;
The suit is more orange and reads "Auburn Correctional Facility";
Every night he walks out with a sack full of Ipods;
Instead of saying, "ho, ho, ho," keeps mumbling something about "Jihad";
Tells every kid climbing on his lap, "Careful of Santa's flask";
Because of earlier incident, can't go within 50 feet of Victoria's Secret salesgirl.
The White House announced they sent out 1.4 million Christmas cards this year. When Bill Clinton was president, he sent out twice that number of cards. Of course, that was for Valentine's Day.
Al Sharpton is getting his own show on CBS. I believe it's called "The Amazing Race Card."
The big controversy this year is about calling Christmas trees holiday trees and trying to take religion out of the holidays. I was watching one of these cable news shows about this and they had on an atheist who said they were against "organized" religion. And while they were talking, they had on the screen the name of the atheist organization. So they were against organized religion but organized atheism is apparently ok...
Newspulper Headlines...
[That's Great News, Dude] "Dog Genome May Also Offer Insight Into His Pal, Man" —The Seattle Times
[Whatever You Do, Don't Tell Anyone!] "Bill Clinton to Surprise UN conference" —Associated Press
[What Would We Do Without Historians?] "Historians: Past Eras Were Worse Than Now" —Associated Press
[Wow, Nice Shot!] "Vomiting Bug Hits Over 250 Pupils" —BBC Web site
Funny story... After my father got out of the Air Corps, he was asked to be best man for a good friend's wedding. (Judge Jack Jackels, Green Bay, WI) Both my father and Jack were pilots in the Pacific. Jack served out of Tinian flying B-29's. Dad flew B-29's out of Guam.
They were also law school buddies at Marquette University.
Anyway Jack's bride to be was nervous because her old boyfriend threatened to come into the Catholic church where the wedding was taking place, and disrupt the wedding. Dad told Jack things would be alright.
The day of the wedding came and the groom was still very nervous about this guy wreaking havoc on the wedding. My father turned to Jack and said, "I've got everything under control." With that he opened up his tux tcoat and showed Jack his holstered service.45 underneath the tux jacket. Jack turned three shades of white. They talked about that for years.
What made it more remarkable was that both dad and Jack were very devout Catholics, so it makes the story even more amusing.
Dad had that .45 for years. My brother and I would take it to the local dump and shoot rats. We once used some service bullets that turned out to be tracers. It surprised the hell out of us!