a. my back porch is outdoors
b. if the vapor is visible for 10 seconds, i am in antarctica and have moved too far south
c. if it's cold and the windows are open, i am at somebody else's house and am about to go home where we don't DO things like that
(You wouldn't like our house, I fear. 58F night setback, 64F occupied, and if we have to set it above 65F somebody's clearly not well. But the advantages are lower heating bills --did I mention our hot Scottish blood?-- and fresh air much of the year.)