Posted on 11/03/2005 10:28:48 PM PST by TheMadLurker
I think it may have actually been producing a significant amount of thrust...
I think I'm the one who gets a soaking. I don't even
bother anymore, it's so tiring to chase it around, catch
it, bathe it, put the room back together... *sigh*
*Bad Idea Generated*
];-)
ROTFLOL!!!
how could it possibly get better than that?!?
nope - strawberries are empathic, so they fon't need a formal language
However, they do seem more "cheerful" when dunked in chocolate and washed down with champagne.
yes indeedy
and maybe some of those pop rocks too
*adding to bad idea*
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the
time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank
you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on
envelopes cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to
seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or FedEx
since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica,
Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sneakers-but that will change once I receive my
free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I
now have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214
angels looking out for me. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only
answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and
make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
their special email program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will
now return the favor!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on
your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur
because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
*chuckles*
...so how is that cold doing?
(laughing and pointing)
Anybody at the RKBA gonna wish me a happy 16th birthday? True, it doesn't come 'til tomorrow, but I'll be gone all day so... (^_~)
Happy Birthday!
*There. I've done my good deed for the day. Now back to my regular curmudgeonaity.*
Embarrass ... us? ... Bwa-ha-ha!!!
We love ya, too, Scrooge. We love ya, too. (^_~)
Happy Birthday!
I hope your day is everything you expect it to be!
:o]
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.