Parody ZOT of Free Republic

[Alice au Wonderland]

Yeah! Do I get a cookie?

[NicknamedBob]

"Ok. I get it. He's been replaced."

One reason I am not fearful about competition.

[Alice au Wonderland]

#1 Wife?

[NicknamedBob]

Yep.

It should work out. #1 wife likes a clean house; I like to play house.

What could go wrong?

[tuliptree76]

Thanks for all of the advice. I'll just sit and study.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Thanks for all of the advice. I'll just sit and study.

You could push the pen.....

[Das Outsider]

You could push the pen.....

Maybe resistance training with two large tax books?

[tuliptree76]

I don't even do that. I just read, and then when I want to put my thoughts on paper, I type on the computer.

[Alice au Wonderland]

What could go wrong?

Hmmmm.....Let me see....

If wife #1 is cleaning the house to avoid playing house, that's a problem. If wife #1 is so busy cleaning house that she's too tired to play house, that's a problem. Any attempt to solve these two problems by setting up and playing house with wife #2 will not work. Your new tagline would need to change to reflect your lack of wealth and riches as wife #1 takes the house and the children and cleans your clock in the process.

Now, if wife #2 takes over the cleaning of the house, thereby freeing wife #1 to play house, peace may reign temporarily, but eventually wife #2 would experience one or both of the aforementioned problems, and then you could potentially have TWO wives with one or both of the aforementioned problems. They would unite against the common enemy....You. This must be avoided at all costs.

It would be much better to have the kids take over the cleaning of the house, so that wife #1 could play house. This would avoid all of the complications of having a #2 wife.

[Alice au Wonderland]

Brilliant! I should have thought of that one.

[Das Outsider]

She could also do calf and thigh work while sitting.

How many calories does reading burn? What if it's really intense reading?

[tuliptree76]

Maybe resistance training with two large tax books?

I don't even have to lift those anymore. The tax code is all online.

[Das Outsider]

I don't even have to lift those anymore. The tax code is all online.

You pick up a mouse, don't you?

[tuliptree76]

She could also do calf and thigh work while sitting.

Okay, let's stop with the discussion of how tulip can improve herself. I already know that there are so many ways that I need to change. I get to hear about it every day.

[Alice au Wonderland]

Well, I suppose if the reading contains weighty thoughts...

[Das Outsider]

I get to hear about it every day.

Perhaps you should change your tone, young lady. /sarcasm

Why do you think you need to improve yourself?

[NicknamedBob]

I knew someone would have an answer to that question. Yours is very perceptive.

My wife often awakens, having dreamt that I have found a girlfriend. She looks at me with accusatory and suspicious glances.

I have a standard response. "Did you get a telephone number for this girlfriend?"

I figure, if she wants to come up with a dream girl for me, she should also introduce us.

[tuliptree76]

Why do you think you need to improve yourself?

I didn't say that I think that I need to improve myself.

[Das Outsider]

Well, I suppose if the reading contains weighty thoughts...

Like elephants standing on blue whales, which in turn are standing on large safes--or something.

But how would the plot go...?

[Das Outsider]

I didn't say that I think that I need to improve myself.

Oh, ok. In that case, don't change a thing.

Next topic!