FReeper Canteen ~ What is your Favorite Computer or Laptop Story? ~ October 25, 2005

Canteen Crew

[luvie]

(((((Lauren)))))

Thank you for your beautiful flags and Ray singing that beautiful version of America the Beautiful. It is beautiful!

Did ya have a good day today? I did.

[BIGLOOK]

La breithe mhaith agat!

[coconutt2000]

[telephone rings]

MYSELF: How can I help you?

CALLER: Hello. I just picked up my computer monitor and I plugged it into my computer and nothing is happening.

MYSELF: I see, and did you plug in the monitor's power cord?

CALLER: I plugged everything in.

MYSELF: You're absolutely sure of that?

CALLER: Yes. [sounding somewhat frustrated]

MYSELF: Okay, do me a favor and check the back of your monitor for any empty ports.

CALLER: Okay, but I don't think that's the problem.

MYSELF: We just have to make sure.

CALLER: Okay, hold on...

CALLER: Oh... there's one empty port on the back of my monitor. It has three prongs. Is that where the power cord goes?

MYSELF: Yes. Do you have a power cord for it?

CALLER: Umm.... so that's what this extra cable is for... Hold on while I plug it in.

CALLER: Hey, its on! The little power light just came on. Wait, there's no picture...

MYSELF: Ma'am, now turn on your computer.

CALLER: Oh... now it's working.

MYSELF: Have a nice day ma'am. Good bye.

CALLER: Thank you!

[click]

[calrighty]

Good fer yoo!

[luvie]

Always a party going on around here! Woohoo!

[calrighty]

ROTFLOL

[luvie]

I had it off till CSI Miami came on...can't miss any of the CSI's! I'm hooked!

[laurenmarlowe]

Happy Birthday CelticLass!!

[calrighty]

Probably writing a lot of doggerel?

[trussell]

Missed it by *that much*!

[luvie]

Good evening...or afteroon to you...Biglook! How're things in your corner of the world?

[trussell]

WooHoo calrighty!! You got the 50!!

[laurenmarlowe]

Howdy there! I am glad you had a good day! *HUGS*

It was definitely a Monday for me, LOL!

[trussell]

So, what shall we dance to?

[Colonel_Flagg]

I avoid network TV like the plague unless the NFL is on. But then, that's just me. :)

[luvie]

Ooooooo...sorry to hear that! Hope Tuesday doesn't end up being another Monday!

Maybe you can relax this evening....have a nice beverage and take your shoes off and stay with us for a while!

[Darksheare]

I think I've seen that before.
I think it was a virus.

[luvie]

Well, we all have our little weaknesses! LOL!

Mine just happens to be crime! :o)

[Soaring Feather]

Subject: Tech Support

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right? Customer: Yeah....

Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using? Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen..... Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one...
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.


Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work


Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars.

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
And last but not least:....

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

[Darksheare]

Ouch!
Now that would get me mildly upset.