"Here's what I want to ask. Are you willing to wait perhaps as long as 3 years and spend several thousand dollars on the training and upkeep of this horse that you can't really ride for that long?"
I really don't mind waiting to ride - I need to train myself as well, so we can just learn together. My husband and I have been really blessed with good hay and forage (even during this drought) so the money I would normally spend on that can be on other things, like training and facilities. (I want a round pen and a nice stall to go with it. And pretty horse fencing. And saddles. And...etc.etc.etc.)
Oh yes, and vet bills. Lots and LOTS of vet bills. I'm thinking about insurance after my dog bills lately... :P
It's not really about the riding, it's about the horse, and that makes it worth it to wait. Maybe it's because I taught school for so many years but I really feel like learning and teaching is FUN - it's a process of which I'd like to be a part. I wouldn't want to miss it for the world...
I would still take lessons so that you are ready when he is. You will learn a lot more than just riding. The more you want to do the more they will let you and most horse people love to teach. You can learn a lot of stuff hanging out at the barn on a Sat afternoon.
Here's the unvarnished opinion for you to keep in mind...
My husband, who is lurking in on this whole conversation too, was a beginner rider when we married, and a little over a year ago, we bought him his first horse. What we wanted was steady and quiet, experienced and safe, and I was looking for a horse in her TEENs.
Now we ended up getting a horse who was ONLY 7. But she has a few traits that made her extraordinary for her age, in that she is bomb-proof by nature, nothing scares her (IMHO, fearful horses hurt more people than cranky ones) and she had been well trained and well experienced by 7. She'd been taken on a lot of trail rides, she'd been shown in 4H by a teenager, she'd been a lot of places and seen a lot of things. That all makes a HUGH difference in how safe they are for a green rider. So getting your horse back from the trainer at 3, with 90 days training on average, will not be the end. It takes another year of regular riding before I'd call them reliable for a moderate rider. So it will be a long haul for you.
So here's the thing. Don't think you HAVE to follow through with this horse if it's not working out, or even after he's trained. Even if he might be the right horse for you when he's 15, he might not be at 3. It won't be a failure for you to spend the next two years working on his ground work and decide to sell him as 'ready to start' under saddle. Every lesson you teach him increases his value. With good ground work he'll be worth more in a year than he is now, and worth more at 2 than he is at 1. No matter what happens, you will have learned a lot, and you still might make an informed choice that he'd be better off spending a few years with someone experienced who will put MILES behind him.
So just because you've made this initial stubborn (lol) decision to stick it out with this colt, doesn't mean I think it's a good idea. Your best horse to learn on is his momma. I still believe that.
Now THERE'S a woman with a good attitude! Training horses IS fun. It's frustrating at times, but fun. It's a constantly changing puzzle. One horse may react one way to your teaching and another reacts an entirely different way. And the same horse can can react differrently on a different day, depending on their mood. You've just got to be flexible and try to stay one step ahead of them. With your teaching background, you should have a leg up on the psychology part of game. Motivating the horse is the key.