Dallas: "Tower to Saudi Air 091101--You are cleared to land southbound on runway 180R."
Saudi Air: "Dallas ATC, 091101 cleared to 180R. Allah be Praised!"
Dallas: "Tower to Iran Air 091103--You are ! cleared to land northbound on runway 360L."
Iran Air: "Dallas ATC, 091103 cleared to 360L. May Allah Bless you."
Dallas Ground: "Ground to Palestine Air 091105--You are cleared to cross the parallel."
Palestine Air: "Ground, 091105 cleared to cross at the mid-section. Paradise awaits Allah's servants"
Dallas: "Tower to Egypt Air 091102--You are cleared to land southbound on runway 180R."
Egypt Air: "Dallas ATC, 091102 cleared to 180R. Allah is Great."
Dallas: "Tower to Syria Air 091104--You are cleared to land northbound on runway 360L."
Syria Air: "Dallas ATC, 091104 cleared to 360L. Allah the Highest."
Pause: Static..............???%%%****$$$$
Saudi Air: "DALLAS TOWER!!! DALLAS TOWER!!!"
Dallas: "Go ahead 091101?" Saudi Air: ! ; "YOU HAVE CLEARED ALL OUR AIRCRAFT TO THE SAME RUNWAY!!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!!
Dallas: Y'all be careful now---ya hear?"
T E X A S
Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth but cold and harsh while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant. "I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and said "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's TEXAS -- the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, streams, hills, and forests. The people from TEXAS are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in AUSTIN."