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To: TheBigB

Woo Hoo! IBTZ!


14 posted on 07/15/2005 6:41:23 AM PDT by JimWforBush (A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?)
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To: JimWforBush

SLOW DRIVING HABITS

A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held back
the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never
even seen her naked.

One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving
habits.
"I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5
miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one piece of
clothing.

He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car.
He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse.
At 60 off came the pants.
At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.

Now seeing her naked for the first time and travelling faster than he ever
had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered
off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not
hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck.

"Go to the road and get help," he said. "I don't have anything to cover
myself with!" she replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of
his shoes. "You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he
told her.

So she did as he said and went up to the road for help. Along came a truck
driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear
her story.
"My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him
out!"

The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies, "Ma'am,
if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!"



20 posted on 07/15/2005 6:43:55 AM PDT by Fierce Allegiance (This ain't your granddaddy's America!)
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To: JimWforBush

A little boy and his father walk into a drugstore and proceed down the aisle with the condoms. The little boy sees a 3-pack of Trojans and asks his father who needs a 3-pack of condoms.



The father replies, "That's for the high school boys, one for Friday night, one for Saturday night, and one for Sunday night."



The little boy then asks, "Well, what about this 6-pack of condoms?"



The father says, "That's for the college boys, two on Friday, two on Saturday, and two on Sunday."



The little boy's eyes widen when he sees the 12-pack of condoms and asks incuriously, "What kind of man needs a 12-pack?"



The father replies, "Relax, son, that's for the married man, one for January, one for February,....."


41 posted on 07/15/2005 6:56:18 AM PDT by JimWforBush (I need a new tagline)
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