LOL!!
Private - on 145 acres bordering national forest (but still 5 minutes to town).
Big Screen TV - it's there with Direct TV and TIVO.
Plenty of space - 6BR / 7BA, 8400 Total Sq Ft
High Speed internet - they've got it!
Game room - even has a pool table. :P
Exercise room - for those who like that sort of thing.