LAST time I assisted with shopping, I got kicked out of a store for. er.. 'assisting with finding a skirt that fit'.
The person I was assisting wore teh same size in jeans as myself, on the dot.
So you can extrapolate from there with the onhand knowledge of my humor..
"May I help you?" -unwitting saleslady.
"YES! I would liek to PURCHASE THIS!" -Me.
That's ALL I'm sayin'!