I once saw Sean Hannity shoot a man just to watch him die.
Hannity once put a five year old in a headlock because "his hair was combed funny".
When Hannity finds a coin on the ground, he punches a nun.
Sean Hannity was responsible for greenlighting "Gigli".
In 1972 Sean Hannity was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn't commit. He promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, he survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire.... Sean Hannity.
That Sean Hannity actually died in the mid 70s and was the basis of Warren Zevon's cult classic "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunnar." The Sean Hannity you hear on the radio today is the son of the infamous 5th Beatle, Pete Best. Roger Best changed his name to Sean Hannity in 1979 after a night of drinking and debauchery with Zevon and Ken Kesey during a Grateful Dead concert in Dallas, TX. Oh yeah, and regardless of what you may have heard William Shanter was never and is not the 5th Beatle.