[Osage Orange]

If all your brains were ink, you couldn't dot an i.

You are about as welcome as a porcupine at a nudist colony.

You breath smells like an outhouse breeze.

You aren't as smart as an egg-sucking dog.

Even the chickens under the porch are smarter than you.

You don't know a bit from a butt.

I hear they call your sister "radio station"...cause anyone can pick her up, especially at night.

[John Robertson]

Very good stuff.