LOL! Sorry to laugh, but I can just imagine what must've been going on.
The worst case I ever got was when I was about 12 and my favorite fishing hole required that I slide down a creek bank to get there. I don't know how, but my whole butt got covered in poison ivy, plus my hands and the bends of my knees. I was totally miserable for about 2 weeks. That's kind of an awkward place to need to scratch.
Heh... He looked like a different person, his head swelled up. Interestingly enough... all swelled up he looked like John Denver.