It was a pleasure to read—and worth the wait :)
out comes a headless body!
Wasn’t that odd??? You’d think they would’ve adjusted the lights during rehearsal, if they even had a rehearsal. Judging by Fantasia’s performance, I kinda doubt it.
Now Fantasia is into her typical schtick -- shoulders shaking up and down (not in time to the musical beat, but whatever),
LOL!
hopping up and down (harder to do with boots and extra weight, but good exercise), and bending at the hips like she has cramps or something.
ROFL!
While she turns her back to the audience, I notice her undies are showing, which just proves she's really into the latest fashions.
Normally, I’m all for seeing undies, but not in this case :o
My mind wandered to thoughts of the old vaudeville shows, where they would literally give the hook to a performer in such obvious distress. Heck, back then audiences, expecting to be entertained rather than screeched at, would have booed, hissed, and thrown rotten tomatoes at the stage
Sadly, screeching apparently is what passes for singing these days. I mentioned this last night, but don’t you think it’s strange that she sang a song that’s nearly a year old? Other returning contestants have taken this “homecoming” opportunity to premier a NEW single—in fact, all of them have done this, even poor Justin Guarini. But not Fantasia. Makes me wonder if her CD is so horrible that they had no choice but to dig up “I believe” and hope she could repeat her excellent post-victory performance from last season. Pffft, not even close.
And Ryan Seacrest breathlessly gushes, "Fantasia! That was fantastic!"
Well, it’s not like he could say, “Fantasia! That sucked!” :)
She reaches real deep into her soul and comes up with...[another drum roll please]..."Act ugly."
We have to give her credit there—she practices what she preaches. My advice to Fantasia, however, would be to hold on to all your money, because if you keep singing (screeching) like that the paying gigs are going to dry up—fast. Next thing you know you’ll be guest starring on some half-ass sitcom like “Life On A Stick”.
I return to the TV hopelessly depressed because I'm so out of touch with what so many of my fellow Americans obviously think is a superb musical performance.
If it’s any consolation, nobody on this thread thought it was good. And I seriously doubt that Fantasia has actually sold a “million” CDs. I bet that AI bought most of them in bulk just to boost record sales. They’re probably sitting in a warehouse somewhere right now, collecting dust.
Excellent (and hysterical) summary, Wolfstar. You’ve earned a Paula Abdul standing-O!!!
