[4mycountry]

Just want to submit a poem. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Trees of Eventide Forest
by Sarah P. (aka 4mycountry)

The trees of Eventide forest
Are like no other trees.
They hold within their intertwined arms
A strange and glorious paradise;
A sanctuary guarded by soldiers of wood.
You cannot see it from the outside
And it requires strength and a steadfast heart
To make the soldiers let you pass.

But the trees of Eventide forest
Are fare and kind to those who try.
Those that make it past the soldiers
Will find their time well spent,
And their efforts not in vain.
The treasure of Eventide forest
Is a garden of light, and green, soft grass.
…And the birds sing sweeter there as well.

The trees of Eventide forest
Tell stories to those that sit at their feet.
Stories of fairies, magic, and songs
Sung hundreds of years before our time.
Their stories are better than any novel made by man.
The words of the Eventide trees are written
By the light that dances through their emerald leaves,
And their voice is carried on the wind's breath.

If you should visit the trees of Eventide forest,
Try as hard as you can to make it past the soldiers of wood.
Because, as you will see…
The trees of Eventide forest are like no other trees.
They are kind and fair to those who try to pass.
And those that make it past will find their time well spent and their efforts not in vain.
The trees of Eventide forest tell stories to those that sit at their feet,
And their stories are better than any novel made by man.

[JustAmy]

I enjoyed your poem. Thank you for sharing it with us.

I'm not a poet so I would not be one to try to give constructive criticism.

I'm pinging some others to your poem.

[NicknamedBob]

I like the images you convey. They are very fluid and restful.

You evoke a distant time of charm and magic. I think this could easily be made into a charming story -- like a positive Hansel and Gretel fable.

But -

Poetically, I am a slave to structure. Many enjoy this form of poetry, but I believe they are seeking the freedom of poetic form without the requirements of prosaic plot elements and other restrictions.

If the words can flow in a mesmerizing way, painting a calm, reflective image gradually, I think it could make a very effective form. -- That would require more length, more detail, more magic, but not necessarily structured rhyming.

Bob

[Conspiracy Guy]

Very nice prose. I write some prose but I am addicted to rhyme!

[Conspiracy Guy]

Prose is the wrong word. I am so stupid this morning. Need Coffee. Nice poem.

[international american]

Poetic bump!