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A Scotsman goes to the dentist and asks how much it is for a tooth extraction.
"$85 for an extraction sir" was the dentist's reply.
"Och... huv ye no got anythin' cheaper" replies the Scotsman getting agitated.
"But that's the normal charge for an extraction sir" said the dentist.
"What about if ye din't use any anesthetic?" asked the Scotsman hopefully.
"Well it's highly unusual sir, could be quite painful, but if that's what you
want, I suppose I can do it for $70" said the dentist.
"Hmmmm, what about if yer used one of your dentist trainees and still without
anesthetics" said the Scotsman.
"Well it's possible but they are only training and I can't guarantee their level
of professionalism and it'll be a lot more painful. I suppose in that case we
can bring the price down to say $40" said the dentist.
"Och... that's still a bit much, how about if ye make it a trainin' session and
have yer student do the extraction and the other students watchin' and learnin"
said the Scotsman hopefully.
"Hmmmmm, well OK it'll be good for the students I suppose, I'll charge you only
$5 in that case" said the dentist.
"Now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal" said the Scotsman.
"Can you confirm an appointment for the wife on Tuesday?"

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Message

One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer.

"What the ? ? ?" he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he
shook them out.

"April," he hollered into the bathroom, "why did you put talcum powder in my
underwear?"

She shot back: "It's not talcum powder. It's 'Miracle Grow'."