Over the centuries bits of wisdom have been collected that are oft repeated. Some could use a bit of an update to account for cultural changes. Therefore, I'd like some help coming up with:

Aphorisms for the new millenium.

Here is my start:

If wishes were horses then beggers would hold up "will work for food" signs on horseback.

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. It's not like he needs them.

I penny saved isn't worth crap.

Early to bed and early to rise means you forgot to change your clock to Daylight Savings Time.

Idle hands can't find the Gameboy control.

Tis better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness. But better still to hunt down the terrorist who blew up the power plant and make him wish he'd never been born.

Additional entries encouraged.

Shalom.