*** OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD ***

2/11/05 | self

[JimWforBush]

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on
the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.


The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high
and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a
small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once
again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the
piano.


The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece
by Mozart!

"Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.

The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a
magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: "Here. Rub it."

So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a
beautiful genie is standing before him.

"I will grant you one wish. Just one wish .. each person is only allowed
one!"


The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, "I want a
million bucks!"

A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by
another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks
and they keep coming!

The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's a
little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."


"Tell me about it!!" says the man, "do you really think I asked for a 12
inch pianist?"

[ArGee]

What's the similarity between an elephant and a plum?

[trisham]

Awwwww. That is cute.

[Zavien Doombringer]

Guilty...

I seem to get more possesed after a batch of your morning brew

[ctlpdad]

Thank god there are survivors! Now I am thristy.

[Delbert]

That ia a horrific picture, I have never seen such carnage...OH The Humanity!

[Radix]

I like it.

[JustRight]

"Gruesome Traffic Accident Picture

Police suspect alcohol was involved.

[trisham]

He still looks pretty good to me.

[Zavien Doombringer]

OK, what

[JewishRighter]

No that's a Grolschsome accident picture.

[Arrowhead1952]

He quoted a Freeper (Not 100% that it was FR.com) from yesterday, saying that Teddy should have taken a submarine in order that he could wave hello to his old girlfriends.

I did see that on a thread yesterday. Will see if I can find that quote. See this thread as well.

Foes drink in Ted's $2G chopper ride (FReepers mentioned!)

[Darksheare]

Okers.
Abstain from my brew for a few days, go light on the regular coffee as well, then try it again.

[peacebaby]

"If men marry for sex and women marry so someone will take out the garbage, why do so many middle aged married men still take out the garbage?"

ah, ArGee, me thinks you think too much.

[retrokitten]

Another wacky PETA kid...

[Zavien Doombringer]

I have it down to the point where it's intraveneous now...like a feeding tube

[ArGee]

They're both purple - except for the elephants.

OK, OK, I'll give it a rest. More later.

Shalom.

[IamConservative]

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. " Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off. Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

[Darksheare]

Y'owch.
That's massive addiction there.

[ArGee]

ah, ArGee, me thinks you think too much.

Definately not. I'm male.

Man in his 20's: A loaf of bread, a bottle of wine, and thou.

Man in his 40's: A pizza, a can of beer, and a game.

Shalom.