[Chunga]

Your argument is sound. The only trouble I have with it is the notion that I might be demeaning the man by attempting to teach him how to keep her from throwing herself into the fire.

If your assessment of the woman is correct and if your analogy holds, she will continue to throw herself into the fire and she will continue to blame him for her burns, and he will continue to accept responsibility; he's incapable of restraining her from jumping into the fire, he can't keep her from lighting fires, and he has no idea how to put them out. He is no fireman. He is more like a little boy chasing the fire truck, waving and imploring the driver to turn on the siren.

He must go to Firefighting School so he can learn to utilize The Shovel Of Growth to smother The Cinders Of Obstinacy And Self-Justification, and learn to work The Hose Of Discipline in order to channel The Waters Of Maturity. In so doing he will acquire the tools necessary to save them both from The Fires Of Hostility, Anger And Hatred and they can live together happily in the uncharred Forest Of The Grownups.

[najida]

But if they don't even like each other, why bother?

(these threads scare the bejezus out of me :) )

[papertyger]

The only trouble I have with it is the notion that I might be demeaning the man by attempting to teach him how to keep her from throwing herself into the fire.

I withdraw the comment.