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but I can't seem to do it or do it quick enough. I can't seem to remember consistently to do every day things like take out the garbage make sure all the doors are locked and the heat is off at night (there is a lot more but won't get into it all).

Personally, as a Pastor (in my 19th year of marriage) things didnt straighten out for us until we placed God at the apex of the relationship -

IMO a lot of folk (me included) feel its important to get married before God, but then exclude Him from the relationship, when clearly the Bible says include Him

sorry to preach this early - just my opinion - I had the same beefs though

I'd also look at a mild ADD or ADHD

Statisitically by year seven, half of all relationships end in divirce - make it past that and your odds increase tremendously

Part of the problem though is trying to make the imperfect (man and woman), perfect....and this is where a lot of folk run into trouble - you cant figuratively clothe yourself in perfection as were sinners - Only God can make a relationship pure.

For us it included much reading a a fresh understanding of what the spouse desired from the relationship, and investing in the relationship by meeting those needs.

Pastor xzins does family counseling - I'll ping him here for his input as well