I've been married for 40 years. At certain problematic times, my wife and I did benefit from marriage counseling. I recommend it. But make sure it's working for the two of you. If you're getting nowhere, try another counselor.
I've been married for over 23 years and I agree with december12 and I have some counselling suggestions later in this post.
The FIRST thing I would suggest is to get a Bible and read and APPLY 1 Thes. 5:18 ("Give thanks in ALL circumstances...") and Romans 8:28 ("ALL things work together for good for those who love the LORD." I often even START my prayers with quoting both.
Ever since I started repeating both verses in DAILY prayers and making them part of my DAILY life---even when I have had REAL hard things currently going on and I would feel like I am lying to God about being thankful about whatever the hard circumstance is---things have ALWAYS "worked together for good!"
Now, when I pray, I begin EACH sentence of my prayer with "Thank You LORD for..." or "Thanks also for...,"---even if whatever I am thanking Him for hasn't even happened yet (we're supposed to pray expectantly). I have even thanked the LORD for things when they DIDN'T go the way I wanted(thanking Him immediately), and doggone it if it didn't turn out BETTER than the way I wanted it, afterall!
It is UNBELIEVABLE what a DIFFERENCE it has made in my life!
You might start with:
Thank the LORD for your wife.
Thank Him for giving you the opportunity to have your child, which you and your wife had together.
Thank Him for her pointing out your "grow up" needs, for without her comments, you might not have recognized your need.
Thank Him for helping you "grow up."
Thank Him for enabling you to teach your child how to "grow up" as well.
Thank Him for making you a GREAT example for your child.
Thank the LORD for your GREAT memory.
Thank Him for reminding you to take out the garbage.
Thank Him for reminding you to lock the doors at night.
Thank Him for reminding you to wash your dirty dishes and clothes and put them away.
Just KEEP Thanking the LORD in ALL circumstances!
I would also suggest you start thanking your wife for things SHE does as well. If she sees/hears you immediately Thanking the LORD in all circumstances---even when they DON'T go the way YOU think they should go---the LORD may influence her as well to start being more thankful.
Now, for the counselling suggestion:
We went through AT LEAST SIX or more counselors before we found one that actually helped us. We started out at a counsellor my husband found, then went to the church I grew up in but no longer attended (since the counsellor knew me for years), and went through many others.
Several years ago, we also found something called Retrovaille (sp?) through the Catholic Church. It was quite helpful and you DON'T have to be Catholic to go and benefit.
Retrovaille (sp?) means redisovery in French, and it's purpose is to help you both rediscover what it was that attracted you to each other in the first place. Back then, you probably didn't LOOK for the "bad" things about each other---you probably LOOKED for the good things and IGNORED the bad things (or at least they weren't bad enough to let them bother you).
Now that you have a child, you have more responsibilities, making both of your lives more stressful. That doesn't mean, however, that you don't BOTH NEED some husband and wife time, all alone, nobody else, just the two of you. Did I mention all alone, nobody else, just you and your wife?
Find someone you trust to babysit for at least a long weekend and go somelace SHE has asked about going to AND/OR find the next Retrovaille weekend and GO! YOU make the arrangements for the child's care---DON'T burden her with making the arrangements.
You might even talk to your wife's best friend and tell her what you are planning to do and ask HER if your wife has commented about a vacation spot she'd really like to go to for a few days. You might even ask her if she might watch your child for a few days to enable you to go. Or she may even help you find a trustworthy person to babysit.
I know you've gotten tons of emails, but I'd like to know how things went if you try what I suggested.
I WON'T wish you "Good Luck." I wish you BLESSINGS! I don't take/believe in "luck" anymore, so I would not wish it on anyone. Instead, when someone tells me "Good Luck" now, I politely tell them "No luck...Just Blessings! I don't believe in luck anymore."
As I said before, It is UNBELIEVABLE what a DIFFERENCE it has made in my life!