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To: Deo et Patria
First, tell your wife that you are committed to doing ANYTHING possible to show her that you want to be married to her.

The world's dearest people say stuff like that...but it is the wrong thing to say in a marriage. He should say that he loves her and wants to stay married. He shouldn't act desperate and willing to do anything. I've seen that destroy a marriage, and I've read about more than I've seen first hand. There are two things to worry about: not caring enough and caring too much. He's not her child or her pet. She may sound like she wants obedience but she won't respect it. Justice, respect, humility, cooperation, forgiveness....these are good. Weakness, emptiness, over pliability, dominance, rudeness, control....these are on either side the extremes to avoid.

285 posted on 12/20/2004 8:54:55 AM PST by King Black Robe
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To: King Black Robe

well said.


286 posted on 12/20/2004 8:57:05 AM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE!)
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To: King Black Robe

I would agree with this if we were talking about a business partnership instead of a marriage. If you start at the notion that you want to avoid a divorce at all costs for religious reasons, then my post makes more sense. I know that the prevailing response is that she will just walk all over him and take advantage of him, but if he really wants to fix his marriage and make up for mistakes that he has made, making himself this vulnerable will help to convince her that he is truly committed to the relationship, which will in turn, hopefully make her more willing to work at saving the marriage. If he adopts the quid pro quo approach that you implicity suggest, she will probably file for divorce.


388 posted on 12/20/2004 12:24:22 PM PST by Deo et Patria (Deo et Patria)
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