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I divorced early and wish I had not. It was very hard on the kids. Now, many years later, my ex and I are on very good terms. Clearly, we could have worked it out had we the maturity to do so. It sounds like you are a bit passive-aggressive about expressing your frustrations, but it's not the end of the world. You can get over it. And your wife can get over her flight-or fight response to your transgressions. Not taking out the garbage is hardly grounds for divorce!

But marriage does not come with an instruction guide. Nor does anyone have to pass qualifying tests before getting hitched. Don't beat up on yourself and your wife for getting it all mixed up. But DO, immediately, take positive steps to figure out how to be married successfully before your marriage goes down the drain.

One good place to start is Marriage Encounter. It's quite affordable. It may be all you need, or it may eventually lead you into counseling of some sort.

National Marriage Encounter
800-828-3351 http://www.marriage-encounter.org

"What Is Marriage Encounter?

"Improving communication in marriage is an ongoing process. It is not something that comes naturally because of our wedding, but involves a lifetime of active learning. Today we spend a lot of time and money on maintaining our homes, our vehicles, our clothing, our careers .... but how much time do we spend improving and growing in our couple communication?

"A Marriage Encounter (M.E.) Weekend gives married couples an opportunity to reactivate, improve and grow in their couple communication. It is a special weekend program offered in a comfortable setting designed to give couples a chance to get away from the everyday routine of life and to spend time together exploring their marital relationship.

"Through the Marriage Encounter Weekend process couples are given time to reflect on their attitudes toward each other and their families ... their joys and their frustrations ...their disappointments and hurts ... their hopes and their dreams.

"The techniques shared on the M.E. Weekend are non-threatening. The weekend experience is unique for each couple and the communication experienced between each individual couple is personal and private.

"Marriage Encounter Weekend is :
NOT a marriage clinic ...
NOT religious instruction or retreat
NOT a group therapy or sensitivity session.

"It IS a weekend program geared towards enhancing the couple relationship through communication occurring in an open and honest face to face, heart to heart encounter ."

Give it a try, kerouacbal. I hope with all my heart that you can keep your marriage together and enjoy a lifetime of happiness with your wife and child. You all deserve the best!