Fridays in Hell:
A guy died and went to hell. He was sitting around on a rock obviously bummed out when a demon walked by. The demon asked the guy why he looked so depressed to which the guy replied," I'm in hell...it sucks."
The demon trying to cheer the guy up says, " Man your really gonna like it here, we have a really good time."
The guys says " Oh yeah, how?"
The demon asks, " Were you a drinkin' man?"
Guy goes, "Yeah, I use to love to drink."
Demon says, " Well todays alcohol day! You can drink all you want and we have the best of everything; twenty year old scotch, champagne, and even things you've never heard of. And it doesn't matter! You'll never get a hangover, never throw up, no cirrohsis or anything; your already dead!"
" Wow " says the guy, "Thats great!"
" It gets better" explains the Demon. " Tuesdays food day; delicacies from throughout the universe and you'll never gain a pound. And theres more; Wednesdays are tobacco day; no cancer, emphysema or anything!"
The guy says" This is unbelievable! Who'd have ever thought that hell could be so fun?"
" Aww you ain't heard nothing yet," grins the Demon " I'll bet you liked drugs in your day didn't ya?"
" You bet" answers the guy, "How do you think I got here in the first place?"
"Well Thursdays are drug day," exclaims the demon, " The best weed, all the cocaine you could want, dumptrucks of heroin and ectasy on tap!"
The guy can hardly contain himself " This is awesome! I had no idea! This is going to be great!"
The demon nodding and smiling asks, " Are you gay?"
"No" replies the guy, " Why?"
"Oooooo" cringes the demon, " Your gonna hate Fridays!"
