This blonde tries to get a job as a lumberjack.
The foreman sez, "you have to cut down 100 trees a day. Here's your chain saw."
The first day, she comes back, exhausted & sez, "I could only cut down 6."
The 4man sez, "you have to do better than that. Better get up early tomorrow."
The next day, she comes back, exhausted & sez, "I could only cut down 12."
The 4man sez, "Somethin' ain't right. I'll go out with you tomorrow."
The next day, he starts the chain saw & she sez, "what's that noise?"
A blonde got a job at the toy facory that makes the TICKLE ME ELMO dolls. The director gives her her instructions at the end of the assembly line and lets her get to work. Hours later, he's amazed to see a HUGE backlog of dolls on the line. He gets to the end and to his amazement, he sees the blonde sealing two walnuts in a small bag and stapling them to the front of every doll. He asks what she's doing and she says, "Just what you told me. I'm giving every doll two test tickles."
LOL
A priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while the priest turns to the rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The rabbi responds, "Yes,that is still one of our beliefs."
The priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?" To which the rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?" The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."
The rabbi nodded understandingly. He was silent for about five minutes, and then he said, "Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"