OH NO....you didn't sound hillbilly at all......and I hadn't even thought of "Caddy Shack."
I'm sorry to say, but your Dad sounds like my ex-husband about the yard. I cut the grass only once in 5 years, because I used the mower in the wrong direction. Don't go that way....PLEASE!!!!!!
I cut grass for my spending money in the summer all through the 70's and did it in Florida in yards with citrus trees - I know how to cut grass. I think that's why my husband rarely asks me to cut grass around here.........There are a few shrubs and bushes that wouldn't exist if I had my way!!!!!
Now that is funny! Kind of sounds like how I mow! If a bush is in my way, just cut it, that way it won't be there next time!
I still do not understand the directional mowing thing yet, but I guess there is a reason in "yard care logic".