"KHAAAAAAANN!"
Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Does your dog bite?
Hotel Clerk: No.
Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau bowing down to pet the dog: Nice doggie.
[Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand.]
Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!
Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.
Blast. I hoped to do the Khan line. Oh well.
Here's some more:
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning."
"You know, someday this war's gonna end."
"Klaatu, barada, (cough)"
"You should not drink and bake."
"The central message of Buddhism is not 'every man for himself'."
"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."
"So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?"
"That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?"
"My uncle was born in America."
"Oh, really? "
"But he was one of the lucky ones. He managed to escape in a balloon during the Jimmy Carter presidency."
"Listen to me Hillary. I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground."
"To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I've known sheep who could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?"
"That's it man, game over man, game over!"