Posted on 10/29/2004 7:47:22 AM PDT by gobucks
And what exactly would a 'real' man do? Tell that little woman she's going to take his name and like it or else he'll have a little correction for her?
That said, I intend to take my future husband's name and not hyphenate. I just noticed your use of the word 'lets' being used almost as 'allow' would be used.
It is unconscionable to produce children in the hopes that they will serve as some sort of medication to the adults who brought them into the world. Children do not exist to save shaky marriages, to help overgrown adolescents grow up, or any other such purpose that selfish irresponsible parents may have in mind for them.
I can't say enough good things about our parish and the programs they have for teens and for grownups, too.
Me too! (Chaste geek that I was, it didn't make any difference to my sex life or lack thereof.) And since the alternative was a hysterectomy . . .
But I don't think gobucks is talking about the medical exceptions to the rule, but about the change in general attitude that the Pill introduced. I know from talking to my friends in high school that far too many of them viewed the advent of the Pill as a license to engage in risky sexual behavior. Which of course changes the parameters of courtship and marriage in a fundamental way.
C.S. Lewis commented on much the same thing 50 years or so ago, both in articles and in his novel That Hideous Strength.
But it's not something that many post-Sexual Revolutionaries want to address.
I told him that women tend to be overt about this subject once a certain stage in the relationship is reached. Few women will lie outright about NOT being on the pill; and those that are not are more likely to say they are not. I did tell him that he would have to take initiative and ask outright for this kind of info before he let his heart get too involved.
(fwiw, BCPs are obviously useful for certain women who suffer from endo or other problems - and endo is a particular vicious curse; my wife too was on BCPs for years b/c of similar reasons; my article was basically to those who believe there is no consequence for using BCPs just willy nilly during these sexually freedom salad days when boys are everywhere and men a rare item ...)
I agree. You're incorrect if you think I'm implying in any way that children should be produced for that reason. I am implying that deliberately avoiding the production of children is a pretty good recipe for extending that avoider's adolescence.
Children do not exist to save shaky marriages, to help overgrown adolescents grow up, or any other such purpose that selfish irresponsible parents may have in mind for them.
No argument with you there either. Again, the intent of the article was to show how the irresponsible and unquestioning attitudes toward the Pill today are harming boys (especially when its conservatives who are not questioning this). I think anything that encourages boys to translate into men is a pretty good idea for society.
Given you have strong feelings about children, that is what they are NOT for, what in your view IS the purpose of children? Not trying to be combative here .. just curious. Too many attack and say what is wrong without offering a 'this is the right way' rejoinder...
Indeed, whether they be liberal or otherwise ...
I think people should have children if and when their primary reason is to GIVE to the children. Give them the best upbringing, education, values, love, etc. that you possibly can, in the hopes that they will have wonderful lives, and that they will live their lives in a way that benefits society as a whole.
Too many people are having children for the wrong reasons, for the parents' reasons -- to save a marriage, to grow the parents up, to have something to love (a popular reason with teenage 3-4th generation welfare moms), etc. Your post seemed (perhaps inadvertently) to validate one of these reasons.
There are a lot of messed up children and adults out there, and most of them were raised by parents who had them either for the wrong reasons, or by accident, and were unprepared to raise them effectively, lovingly, and selflessly. I think we need to be pushing the idea that one needs to have one's own act thoroughly together, before taking on the huge responsibility of raising children.
"I think we need to be pushing the idea that one needs to have one's own act thoroughly together, before taking on the huge responsibility of raising children."
I think we need to push for that too .... its a good ideal.
I also think that if we push TEENS to that idea, bringing up kids such that by the time we release them, they pursue unions already equipped to raise kids, then that's the better ideal. There is this idea out there that you have to be over 30 or 40 years old before you are 'mature' enough to raise a kid. And its the Liberals who are selling that falsehood.
My dad made it pretty clear that we were born to work on the farm. Period.
Love was something you didn't give your children.
I'm one of the waiters. I'm 43, have a bunch of embryos in the freezer, and expect to start putting them in the oven in 3-4 years. I know I would have been a lousy parent 10 years ago, and an even lousier one 20 years ago.
"Maturity" isn't the only factor. Life experience, in our extremely complex society, is an important factor as well. You just can't have as much perspective on things in your mid-20s as you do in your mid-30s or mid-40s. I think I'll be much better equipped to raise children a little further down the road. And finances matter too. I want to be absolutely sure that my children will never see the inside of a daycare center or a government-run school.
There certainly are some people who are fully prepared to raise children in their 20s, but I really think they're a minority, and I don't necessarily see that as a problem. What's the big rush?
These articles are inevitably written by a guy. I wonder why that is?
Did you see An American Mother's post?
ping ... not pro life exactly. But, very much in the same spirit, and I thought you'd be interested...
ping to two pro lifers ; suspect you may find it worthwhile...
thanks.
" These articles are inevitably written by a guy. I wonder why that is?"
I don't know about 'these articles', but I know about mine. It was written by a man, not a guy. What's wrong with you? You think the world needs MORE guys?
I actually have five children. Trying to do more natural birth control I have noticed a pattern with my last for children. They are almost exactly 2 years, 2 months apart from each other. Every time ovulation starts again I wind up pregnant again. I have actually been considering the Pill, since I don't want to have a new baby every year until I hit menopause.
Thanks for the ping!
A distinction without a difference.
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