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Darks covered it all.

Lemme see if I get this right.

1. If you get a stress test, don't go to Tijuana.
1.1 If your wife has had a stress test, don't try to come back from Tijuana.
2. Al Qaeda tried to ship a refrigerator and 6 guys into this country through an illegal immigrant importer service but the guy running the truck refused and talked to the FBI.
2.1 Al Qaeda is supposed to have ten suitcase nukes now.
2.2 Al Qaeda is supposed to have a Fatwa giving the OK to use them.
3. Technetium has a half life of about 21 days, so if you get it at all, it is pretty hot.
3.1 Thorium looks pretty cool on the scanner.
3.2 If you are stopped, you can get away if you say you had Technetium or Thorium.
4. You are not allowed to use the rest rooms of certain hospitals after certain tests.
5. A replacement probe for the beeber is about $110.
6. Small Beebers can run about 220 - 275, but on e-bay they can be had for as little as 20.
7. Certain tunnels in NYC are equipped to tell if you have had a stress test.
8. Illegals have been told the buried sensors under highways can count the hearts passing over them, and if a quick inspection of the occupants doesn't match the number of hearts counted, the vehicle will be pulled over and inspected.
9. Some other things are so hot they have a half life of 6.1 hours. You should not use any rest rooms or tunnels afterwards.
10. The search for AlQaeda / Illegals is very series and hugh. (I hypothesize they may be transported in hollow Moose down from Canada etc.)
11. If the beeber is set to stune you can get away. Or not. Or if you are nice and have your papers. If they let you keep your papers, or not. Or a clerical error may mismatch your fingerprints or face scan to someone who has committed a crime or been placed on a watch list or been placed on a watch list with a misspelled name. Or not.
12. Or your paper money may have traces of drugs and be confiscated as evidence. Or you may have too much paper money and have it confiscated as evidence you had too much. Or the check you are given at the time of the confiscation to reclaim it may bounce. But I digress.
13. Once the beeber is set to stune it is in anybody's hands. Just get out of the car, walk over to the button on the post, press it, and see if it says you should be inspected or allowed to pass. Remember, even 93 year old women in wheel chairs may be inspected.

like I said, I haven't got a clue.

10. The search for AlQaeda / Illegals is very series and hugh. (I hypothesize they may be transported in hollow Moose down from Canada etc.)

Ummmm, shouldn't 'hollow Moose down' be 'hollow Goose down' AFAIK møøse don't have down...